


Her Own Self

by panther



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-12
Updated: 2014-06-12
Packaged: 2018-02-04 09:52:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1774840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panther/pseuds/panther
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It takes Ginny far longer than anyone realises to come to terms wither first year. She literally didn't recognise herself after. She grew up in a haze but eventually learns to channel it into something meaningful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Her Own Self

It takes Ginny years to recover from the events of her first year at Hogwarts. It takes her months to _appear_ ok but things are not quite right. She doesn't recognise herself in the mirror anymore, literally. She changed over a year and didn't notice because she was under Tom's thumb. Of course she brushed her hair and washed her face but she didn't _see_ herself. Her cheekbones are more prominent, her breasts have grown, her figure becoming wider at the hips. She hadn't noticed before, not any of it. Tom took everything from her. For Ginny it isn't just about coming to terms with what happened but also the choices she made to start it. 

Tom didn't have her from the moment she wrote in the diary. She knew something was wrong. Her father had spent over a decade telling her not to trust anything if she couldn't see where it kept its brain and still she wrote in it. She chose to do that and now she has to _live_ with that. The attacks, the roosters and the blood on the walls are easy enough to handle. She hardly remembers and she was controlled but she started it. She can't just forget _that_. Tom is a master manipulator people tell her. It takes her years to turn her guilt into something useful. Harry turns it into something useful. 

At the DA she learns to focus. It isn't revenge or vengeance even, not in Ginny's mind. It is about making sure no other young girl can be made to face the same horrible choices that she did, that they can't be manipulated the way she was and forget what they even look like she did. It doesn't take a genius to work out she will be a target and it has nothing to do with being a Weasley or being close to Harry Potter. It is because Tom had her and she got away. People that Tom decides have to die don't escape. Like Harry, Ginny Weasley is a failure in Tom's book and one that must be corrected. It might not be now and it might not be urgent but one day he will specifically come for her. She has to be ready. She has to do everything she can to help Harry be ready if it really is only him that can stop Tom. 

It is when Harry has disappeared that she really comes into her own. She becomes the leader because there is no one else and if she is going to take beatings and torture because of her name she wants it to mean something. Tom can have his people torture her, threaten to rape her, beat her and shame her at every turn but he cannot control her. Not this time. They could take her on any day and she knows that. She would disappear just like in the old days and no one could say or do a damn thing about it. It takes her years to understand why they don't. They hope if she is around and in enough danger Harry will come but she believes in Harry. She trusts him to do the right thing and does everything she can to make others believe too. Slowly she has more than just the old DA understanding this is _their_ war and the adults around them won't end it. They have to do that for themselves and if that means causing trouble at Hogwarts and diverting as much attention from Harry as possible then so be it. Ginny only hopes it keeps more Death Eaters at the Castle cursing them in the dungeons and less looking for their muggle-born classmates on the run. 

Whatever happens to her in the end will be because of her choices and no one else's, Ginny is determined about that. In the final battle her mother tries to hold her back but no one remains behind once the watchers are gone. No one will be left alive if they lose. She goes out, wand raised, on her own terms and if it needs to be it will be a blaze of something that matters, if not glory.


End file.
